Student #1

AR started my year off in a way that made me want to quit, cry, and everything in between. He was a student that was a nightmare. Not only did I have no clue what I was doing, but he compounded the issue by insulting me, belittling me, offending me, and being completely disrespectful.

AR had a way about him. He had a great sense of humor and a great way of delivering lines. So when he said something meant to sting, it felt like a blow. It was always combined with other student's laughter as well.

He was a bumbling student who seemed to be sad whenever he walked around, and I was told had a faint trace of autism. I rarely saw it and it was not in his specialized plan, but I was told it nonetheless.

The first few weeks of school, he really tested me. He would call me a bitch, he would refrain from saying those actual words and say "female dog", he would insult my physical appearance, he would refuse to listen, and his attitude was incredible. I had no control of him. Nothing I did could change the way he acted. I knew that I was in for a long school year if this was what I was in for.

But something happened. Over time, and I don't know how or when, this student became one of my favorites. He was the best behaved. He would do all of his work, redo it if he didn't want a bad grade, sit quietly, and show me complete respect.

He was one of those students who would get back from being in another class and ask me, ask me, what work he missed. He was a rare breed.

When class was out of control, when the paraprofessional had called in, I could always count on AR to do what I asked. He apologized rampantly when he swore mistakenly, when he didn't listen to me the very first time, when he was caught up with the other students.

Soon, I saw no need for him to be in the most restrictive placement (MRP). I tried to advocate for him to be with his peers in the general ed population, but I was met with resistance on all sides. It broke my heart when he would ask if he could join them and I couldn't say yes. I felt like a failure, yet I didn't want to push too hard because I was new and to myself, naive.

There is not enough I can say about AR. He touched my heart in many ways. He would come up early every morning - he claimed he didn't want to wait downstairs - but a part of me wondered if he didn't want to just hang out with me.

The manager of my program asked if I had a student who wouldn't mind giving a speech to the up-and-coming new teachers of this year. AR was the first person I thought of.

On the last day of school, he hugged me a few times, and started to cry. His mom who was there started to also. We had a great working relationship throughout the year and I had great respect for her.

To see AR cry...he is a big kid. Not a kid who cries. He quickly wiped it away but did say, under his tears "I'm going to miss you guys so much". It broke my heart.

I have no doubt that if AR stays on the same track, he is going to accomplish great things. He was a great student and I can only hope to have more like him.

Finally...

It had been weeks. I was becoming frantic and signing in to the account for this program daily, hoping to see something to let me know whether I had made it or not. One day, something online changed. I don't' remember what it was, but it looked like I made it! However, something was missing so I sent an email to the manager.

He responded with a vague, confused email about how he didn't know how I had access to that, don't worry about it, ignore it, etc. I felt deflated.

I scored another interview for a company working with elderly people and since I was running out of hope for this teaching job, I went. As I sat there waiting to be called, a child was there talking to a grandparent and parent. I looked at this kid and thought "Why am I here? I don't want to work with old people. I want to work with kids. That is what I want." And I almost decided to just get up a leave. But the inner hatred for my current job kept my planted.

When I returned back to the office, I checked my email. I had received something. "Congratulations!" it read, "You have been accepted into ---!" I could barely contain my excitement. I was high! I was ... no words can describe it.

I went on a home visit that afternoon and called my sister and told her the entire story. She was excited and probably speechless since she had known nothing about it. I have a tendency to not tell people about things I am doing until it's done and I had not told anyone in my family.

I couldn't wait to tell my husband...and my parents, but I was incredibly nervous.